


World's Finest

by capncosmo



Category: Batman - All Media Types, GoGo Sentai Boukenger | Rumbling Squadron Boukenger, Mirai Sentai Timeranger
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-09-29
Updated: 2007-09-29
Packaged: 2017-10-28 16:21:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/309744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/capncosmo/pseuds/capncosmo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Batman is going to die of skin cancer, and Superman is not invited to the funeral because it is entirely his fault.</p>
            </blockquote>





	World's Finest

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mariko_azrael (gingayellow)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gingayellow/gifts).



> BLAME MARIKO.

Batman would swear he does it on purpose. As he drops from a higher rooftop to land next to where Superman is bobbing patiently, the other man turns and smiles brightly, just like everything he ever does. "I thought I told you to stay out of my city," Batman bites out, annoyance at his being happy to see Superman overriding any other feelings.

"Well, but, I was in the neighborhood, and you can't be everywhere at once." Superman's cheerfully disarming Midwestern-warmth makes Batman grind his teeth.

"Just don't let it happen again."

Superman's smile is back and, if possible, even more dazzling than before. He moves his head into the smile, which says, "Trust me," making his green hair bounce over as well. Batman has very good reason to believe the ability to inspire trust is a natural ability in Hummardians. "See you later, Batman!" he says as he flies off, his expression full of laughter and preternatural knowledge and sunshine and _everything_ that Batman hates. Or, at least, pretends he hates.

Robin lands next to him even as he continues to stare at where Superman no longer is. "Batman?" he asks tentatively.

Knowing Robin is just as terse as he is, and appreciating it, Batman simply heads for home.

*****

It's the annual Police Ball, and, as always, the Wayne foundation is giving an obscene donation, meaning the head of the foundation has to give a speech. Domon grumbles at his tie as he stands at the mirror trying to get it to sit right. No one had told him becoming the world's best boxer and getting heaps and heaps of money would necessitate mastering the art of the bow-tie as well, and today he was particularly resentful.

Takku comes in just as Domon had begun to rifle through the drawers for his top-secret Takku-must-never-know clip-on. He tries to look casual, but ten steps ahead as always, the butler says, "You can stop looking, Sir, I have already seen to your other tie." Since the word "other" is practically dripping with disdain, Domon gives up and returns to futzing in the mirror. "Master Ayase is already completely dressed," Takku informs him as he forces him to turn around, "and even Master Tatsuya managed to get his tie into some semblance of a bow."

Domon resists the urge to say anything back, knowing Takku always gets the best of him anyway. Tatsuya sticks his head in a second later, and Domon revises his intial impression of Takku's information to include a carefully plotted skew hopefully to be fixed by one Yuuri Gordon, who is sure to be in attendance as daughter of the Commissioner. "Hey, Domon, aren't you dressed yet? We're going to be late."

Domon rolls his eyes as Takku Okays his tie, and the three of them join Ayase in the foyer. He readies himself by pasting on a gigantically fake smile and thinking about stupid things. Superman's smile pops into his head, and Domon agrees it is a very, very stupid thing, certainly worth thinking about for the entire car trip.

*****

Domon can tell Ayase in bored out of his mind, even though his younger son hasn't said anything about it. He considers telling him to go ask Takku to take him home, but then thinks Ayase wouldn't have wanted to come if he didn't have a reason. The two of them are hovering near the drinks, but Domon has been cornered by a couple of bureaucrats who act like they're the ones who've taken one too many punches to the head, so it's not like Domon is any better off, really. Tatsuya is, as per usual, following Ms. Gordon around, which she is, as per usual, pretending not to like. Domon wonders if he is ever that obvious, but then quickly revises his thoughts, because there is no one following him around and making him pretend not to like.

"Ah, Domon! It's been ages!" Honami Vale is cutting a path towards him and he excuses himself from the snorefest to free himself for the horrors to come. Certainly Honami counted as someone following him around, but he wasn't feigning his dislike.

"Ms. Vale," he puts on his best playboy-athlete smile, "you're looking fabulous! Have you gotten younger since the last time I saw you?"

Honami blushes and slaps his arm playfully, and Domon wonders if, just this once, he would be justified in living up to the "heartbreaker" part of his reputation. "Oh, Domon, you're such a flirt! And how many times do I have to tell you, it's 'Honami.' So, got any words for the _Gotham Gazette_?"

Domon forces himself to laugh. "Why, Ms. Vale, I have no idea what you're talking about."

"About Wayne Enterprises' rumored groundbreaking new technology, perhaps?" Honami leans into his side, and Domon forces himself to keep smiling as if nothing was wrong.

"Now, now, Ms. Vale, you know I can't tell every pretty little reporter that comes along all about Wayne Enterprises' goings on. I'd get the can in no time flat!"

"I'm definitely not asking you to tell _every_ reporter, Domon. Just me." By this point, Honami has insinuated herself much, much too far into Domon's personal space, and he is willing to take any way out of this situation possible.

"Or if she's too pretty, you could tell me," says a voice from his left, and, after the second of shock, Domon is torn between telling Kent he thought he _told_ him to stay out of Gotham and the completely insane urge to blurt out that Honami is certainly nowhere near as pretty as Sion. He settles for using all his willpower to stop his teeth from grinding.

"Oh, Mr. Kent," Honami says frostily, like she _knows_ , and Domon isn't even sure what there is to know.

"Good evening, Ms. Vale," Sion says, and Domon wonders how no one has figured out the man's secret identity since glasses have nothing to do with obscuring the smiles of sunshine and happiness and Domon is losing it _fast_.

"A little far from Metropolis, aren't we?" And Honami's hand is moving possessively over Domon's chest, causing Domon to wonder if Honami mightn't make the Society page instead of Business.

"Anything for a scoop," Sion says, and Domon thinks he might die of something like cuteness or UV radiation. "I presume you're here for the same reason." His eyes flick to Domon, and it is at this point he realizes he couldn't say anything even if he wanted to. Despite how it backfired last time, he again finds himself wishing for _any way possible_ out of this.

When the punch bowl behind him explodes, he knows his wish has been answered.

*****

Getting away from Honami had been surprisingly easy once there was imminent danger. Of course, shaking Sion would be considerably more difficult. He left Tatsuya and Yuuri to handle the situation until they could get back and met Ayase at their secret stash, though Sion wasn't far behind. He glares.

"I need a closet to change," Sion begins, but Domon cuts him off.

"You possess superhuman speed, and this is a Bat-Closet." Robin gives him a funny look when he slams Sion out, but knows better than to say anything.

When they get back, Batman slips up behind where Tatsuya is barricaded behind an overturned table. "Natsuki and the Samurai," Tatsuya tells him, and Batman wonders just when they got stupid enough to attack the _Police Gala_. He could have sworn they used to have more class.

Superman is between the diabolical duo and the line of officers and tables protecting the civilian guests. Natsuki Quinn seemed to be the source of the earlier bombs, and is now lobbing them at Superman while the Sakura Samurai looked on. Batman thinks she must just be waiting for her chance, or perhaps her plan is already in place, and to watch out for her.

"Why are you here?" Batman growls, mostly to give Robin the chance to get into position.

"We just wanted to have some fun, too," Natsuki says, and Batman wonders if she's being honest or just too crazy to know what she was saying.

The Samurai takes a last look around before deciding something. "And we have. Come on, Natsuki."

"Aw, but _Red_ ," Natsuki whines, and Batman desperately wants to know where the nickname came from anyway, since the Samurai's hair is definitely pink. Of course, it would be easier to ask _after he arrested them_.

 _Robin acts right on cue, getting the drop (literally) on the pair, and Superman makes quick work of them once he doesn't have to worry about Natsuki setting off anymore explosions. Batman glares at him because of the intrusion into his plan, but Superman doesn't seem to even notice. He just keeps smiling. Batman thinks he's definitely not letting Takku invite him to the funeral when he meets his untimely demise from too much happiness and/or light._

 _*****_

 _The police rush to handle the situation, like they always do after Batman and co. have done all the actual _work_ , leaving them the opportunity to slip off and back to the earlier Bat-Closet. In a moment of insanity, Batman lets Superman follow them in._

 _Ayase and Sion are finished changing, but Domon is left staring forlornly at his bow tie. Sion tells Ayase to run on ahead (no, really, he _says_ that) before taking the tie from Domon's hand and looping it around his neck. Domon manages to keep from calling after Ayase and demanding he not be left alone with the man who would definitely kill him one day, but only just._

 _Something that has always mystified Domon is just how small Sion is, especially considering how much strength his Hummardian DNA gives him. Today, however, Domon is content to stare resolutely over the top of Sion's head and _not_ think about how close the other man is or how he is _tying Domon's bow-tie_. Domon thinks he will probably be driven insane before his aforementioned untimely death._

 _"So, did I come here for nothing, or...?" Sion says, and Domon can feel his brain implode. Sion lets him flounder for a few more seconds before adding, "I mean, I have some guesses as to WayneTech's new discovery, but it'd be hard to explain without explaining that I know Batman."_

 _And suddenly Domon thinks, "oh." He immediately tries to erase everything he was thinking Sion might have meant before, but his sub-conscious has never, ever been that kind._

 _Sion's smile changes, this time into something that clearly lets Domon know that Sion knows he has _won_. Domon swallows uncomfortably, and thinks that if Sion could smile like that more often, Domon might just dodge skin cancer or whatever long exposure to Superman gave you. But then, Domon also knows if Sion smiles like that, he is not going to be able to refuse anything the other man wants. He can't even bring himself to half-hearted teeth grinding, because Sion has pinned him with his eyes and has a corner of his mouth quirked up in a completely fatal way._

And then, Domon is able to breathe again, because Sion laughs and leads him out of the Bat-Closet and back to the party. Honami looks murderous, because she thinks Sion has scooped her, and Tatsuya raises an eyebrow in his direction, and Domon just wants to die of embarrassment. Especially because Yuuri's already laughing, and Ayase is careful not to let Domon see anything more than his smug smirk.

He decides to skip Takku's knowing smile and go directly out on patrol.

*****

In a sick parody of the beginning of this ill-begotten series of events, Superman is hovering over a rooftop like a blue and red neon sign, and Batman is just behind him. This time he can only muster a half-hearted, "Why are you still here?"

Superman's eyes crinkle with private laughter. "I have the weekend off. I thought I'd stick around."

I thought I told you to stay out of my city, Batman thinks, but he can't bring himself to actually say the words. Instead he just tries to look as menacing as possible until he can figure out _what to do about this_.

"Of course, I don't want to upset your elaborate plans. I think the only safe way to do that is if you keep an eye on me yourself."

Batman has known for years and years and years that even though Superman is not who Sion is, neither is the naïve farmboy he can get away with impersonating. And yet, he doesn't turn the invitation down.

It'll keep the Boy Scout out of trouble, anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so, you may have noticed some weird stuff up with the names. Since the Time cast doesn't have last names anyway, and to make it fairly obvious who I was talking about, I combined their names with their DC counterpart. The exception would be Honami, who has a last name but took Vale anyway just to evoke Vicki Vale, Lois Lane of the Batfamily. Well, except that Bruce doesn't marry her. Uh, also, Yuuri wasn't shot by ~~Masumi~~ the Joker.
> 
> As for Sakura and Natsuki, well. Harley's name was derived from her real name, so it didn't make any sense to keep calling her that. Sakura was more a hint of desperation, but still taking advantage of her name being a plant. And, yes, Mariko did ask for the two of them cast as Harley and Ivy, so.
> 
> This story... the characterization blurs for me. I tried to make it so you could almost substitute "Bruce" in for "Domon" &c., but I also wanted to keep it Domon, you know? Sion is obviously influenced by Clark's personality, though, being much more confident that Sion would ever muster. I dunno, it might pass for DC fic if I did a search-replace, it might not. But.
> 
> Although, actually, this kind of reads like some McShep from over in Atlantis, I think, in a way. It's a weird bringing together of all my influences. (This is partially because I couldn't find any actual Supes/Bats I wanted to read/liked. Believe me, I looked.)
> 
> Last note: MY BRAIN CANNOT TAKE THIS TYPE OF CRACK. YOU BETTER LOVE ME LOTS, MARIKO.


End file.
